What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta.

What did the baby corn say to its mom?

Where’s my popcorn?

Why couldn’t the sesame seed leave the gambling casino?

Because he was on a roll.

What does a nosey pepper do?

Gets jalapeno business.

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

When potatoes have babies, what are they called?

Tater tots.

How fast is milk?

It’s pasteurized before you know it.

How do you make an apple turnover?

Push it downhill.

What’s better than a good friend?

A good friend with chocolate.

What kind of socks do you need to plant asparagus?

Garden hose.

Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?

To get another rib.

What did the pecan say to the walnut?

We’re friends because we’re both nuts.

Where did the broccoli go to have a few drinks?

The salad bar.

What did one blueberry say to the other blueberry?

If you weren’t so sweet, we wouldn’t be in this jam.

What do you call cheese that is not yours?

Nacho cheese.

Wanna hear a joke about pizza?

Never mind it’s too cheesy.

Mushroom walks in a bar, bartender says “Hey you can’t drink here.

Mushroom says “Why not, I’m a Fun-gi!”

Why did the tomato blush? 

Because it saw the salad dressing!

Why don’t eggs tell jokes?

They’d crack each other up!